I am often surprised when a new perspective comes to me about
myself or those close to me. In the course of making new friends
or in times of being safe talking with a really truthful friend, I
learn things about myself and see different perspectives of myself
and others in my life.
In these kind of moments, if I’m not feeling threatened or attacked, it can be very eye opening. I get to see myself from another’s perspective and it can be very rewarding. It gives me a chance to change.
It can even be kind of fun sometimes when someone brings your attention to your words or actions that you didn’t see that way. It’s like a little treasure hunt to see how your words or actions may have been perceived in the past when you weren’t aware of this new perspective. A lightbulb lights up and you might say... “Wow, that’s why so and so reacted that way when I said _________”. Someone else doesn’t actually know what you are thinking or maybe even your personality, so it can be very easy for all of us to come to a different meaning than what the intended meaning really was.
Being open to conversing with someone you feel safe with allows you the freedom to think about and explore the reflections they can share with you. It’s not the same as judgment or criticizing, it’s more like being in a house of mirrors and seeing how distorted the same image is when put in a different environment - (like seeing how another person takes what you say or do much differently than you intended it). It can also help you to be more aware of the words you use and put out to the universe...something you really do want to be thoughtful of.
It’s ashame that we are not encouraged to grow and change more. It seems most people like the status quo and aren’t really open to dealing with others changing.
Sometimes I’ll make a change and those around me say... but you always_______, yes that is true. In the past I have always ________, but I’ve changed now.
I now love avocados but when I was young you couldn’t pay me enough to eat them, same with asparagus. So, if I was not allowed to grow and change I would still not be eating avocados or asparagus. I know this is just a very simple example but it shows my point well.
I really love giving myself permission to change. So why does it surprise me when the same thing happens but in reverse? Why do I still continue to put others in the same role I think they have always been in? They may have changed too. I know I don’t want to be the same for my entire life. And I don’t want to assume that others want to be either.
Our tastes change. Our perception of things change. Our fears change. Even what brings us joy may change.
I feel I need to take time to actually see myself and others more clearly. To pay attention to the words and actions. I want to really see the other person as they are now without the past perceptions I have in my head that they are. I want to allow change not only for myself but also for those that I have interactions with.
With much Love I wish You and Yours a wonderful Thanksgiving!
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