Let’s think back to the times when we were young, strong, and healthy.  We could do anything and never give it a second thought.  We were always helping others.  For example: When friends needed help moving into a new home, we were there with a strong back and arms like a warrior.  In fact, it made us happy to lend a helping hand when someone was in need.  Helping others came easy and naturally to us. I remember when my grandmother was ill, I would mow her lawn, take care of her dog, do the shopping, and even helped her get ready for bed at night.  I was happy to help and she often said that I was a blessing to her.

As the years pass, and our youth has left us, our lives begin to change.  We are no longer at our peak of physical fitness and life will often throw us a curve ball.  For example: We fall on hard times, lose a job, lose a relationship, lose our health, etc., and instead of asking for help, we continue to wear the armor of the warrior, because we have always been the strong one.  Others have always sought our help and we were always there in time of need.  Now the tide has changed and we are the ones who need help.

This part of life can be very difficult for us.  Often times, it’s our pride that gets in our way and so we pretend that everything is fine.  The truth is, we are scared of the changes and scared to ask for help.  We say to ourselves that we don’t want to be a bother to others. We don’t want others to see us while we are down, when we are weak, so we put on a brave face, we smile, we carry on as if we are the same person.  And when people ask how we are doing, we say we are fine.  But in reality, we are not fine. We are hurting, scared, and in need of help.  Why is it so hard to let our guard down, remove our armor, and allow others to see us in our time of need?

Over the years, people have described themselves to me as: “The warrior, the fighter, the rock of the family”. And yes, these descriptions are true, but in life, things change.  We must all learn to experience being the warrior and also being the child.  Sometimes we are the helper and sometimes we are the one that needs help.  Here’s a question: Why is it so hard to allow people to see us cry, to see us hurting, to see us helpless?  I believe it take great courage to open up and allow others to see us during difficult times.

Even Jesus Christ, when he was carrying his cross needed help.  He allowed everyone to see his suffering and his pain. Christ also gave Simon a great gift when he helped him carry his cross.   Christ is showing us that it’s ok to let others see you in your time of need. Christ taught us that there is strength in weakness.

Here’s my point.  Remember back when you were young, strong and able to help others?  Remember how good it made you feel?  By allowing others to help you, you are giving them a great gift.  They want to help, they want to support you and to love you, but you have to let them in.  Please don’t deny them this opportunity, because in reality, it’s their turn to help.

What we are seeking in life is balance and truth.  How authentic can you be?  Are you brave enough to let others see the real you and what’s going on in your life right now?  I pray you can.  I’ve been on both sides of this coin and I know how challenging it can be.  I have climbed the highest mountains and have had the strength of Hercules, and when life changed on a dime, I was as weak and helpless as a newborn baby.  But through it all, I’ve learned to trust in others.  I’ve learned to allow others to see me when I’m sick, or scared, or learning how to start my life all over again.  I’ve learned that being helpless and vulnerable allows someone else to have a turn at being strong.  And that’s the balance of life.  We must learn to set aside our pride, ask for help, and let others support us in our time of need.

I learned years later after taking care of my grandmother, that when she was in her youth and at her peak of physical fitness, she was full of joy and laughter and was always helping a neighbor in need.  I also learned that she was once a dancer, and a darn good one!  This was something I never knew about her.  It made me feel good to know that she had her day in the sun, that she was strong and fit and a blessing to many.  And when I was in college, she was brave enough to show me her helplessness, and it was an honor to take care of her.  Thank you, grandma, for teaching me that there comes a time when the warrior needs to take off the armor and become the child.  

Yours in love & light,  Pastor Christine Haggerty