You’ve Got To Be Kdding Me! This Issue Again?!
by Julie Matheson


I hear these lines all the time in my counseling work and I’ve said them myself: Why do I still have this problem? I’m so tired of this! What is it going to take to fully heal this issue?

Healing* happens, from the perspectiveof how I teach it, when we write out a clear goal of what we wish to experience, and then map out and understand a system of energy in the form of beliefs, thoughts, feelings, sabotage patterns, traumas and coping strategies, which are working against this goal; and then consciously remove that system of energy of false beliefs all at once through conscious intention.

Once that system of energy is released, it allows for a positive system of energy to drop in to take its place, so to speak. When we do this work thoroughly enough, honoring all the most important pieces of the puzzle, the struggle ceases on that topic. We got it. It no longer has a reason to be there. It’s resolved.

Transformation like this can and does happen. There are those issues which are so ready to be addressed, they slip right off. You wake up the next morning feeling so totally different you know life will never be the same, in a good way. You did the work; you faced the problem head-on and all that’s left to do is to enjoy how much easier life is without that troublesome issue.

It takes skill to do this inner work. It also takes a good memory of past events to be able to identify our thoughts and feelings, and be able to trace current reactions back to when we’ve felt similarly. We need to discover the false beliefs that got encoded and compare our perception to true reality; we need to release the illusional picture that got repeatedly reinforced.

Equally important, but less often pointed out, we also need to extract the gifts, strengths and insights we gained, thanks to the struggle. Whenever we release an old pattern in its entirety, we get to keep all the strengths we gained. We are only ever releasing the discordant energy.

So, what is going on when we feel we’ve addressed something and it’s still there? Perhaps we are still getting triggered in the same old way or we are still not experiencing life in the abundant, healthy, loving, peaceful ways we desire. What can we do?

1. Redefine the goal and recommit: Sometimes our “stuckness” has to do with how we are defining what a healing actually means. Maybe you did resolve the issue and it hasn’t fully registered, or your goal didn’t hit the target because it wasn’t precise enough. Some issues are so deep and pervasive, they are literally the sea we’re swimming in and it takes commitment, persistence and a willingness to keep evolving the goal so you can grasp the real issue enough to pop out of the illusion. That’s why all the gurus say, “Don’t quit!”

2. Surrender to the basic law of reciprocity: Life mirrors all parts of us all the time and can only give us what we can conceive, perceive and allow it to give us. The fact is life is constantly listening to the unconscious vibes we give out, as well. Life is always saying yes to every level of us. Therefore, if something is still an issue, chances are good there is a hidden belief or mixed message still being emitted. It’s our job to find it. Surrender and keep looking. Commitment and divine right timing are our friends in our healing journey.

3. Take ownership of your own issues and leave others to theirs: You are the only one who can heal yourself. As you keep the focus on yourself, it becomes clearer what’s yours and what’s someone else’s. Sometimes we confuse someone else’s issues as our own and we react to them. You can’t heal something that’s not yours to heal. When an issue isn’t yours, consciously refuse to pick it up, and you will do yourself and the other person a huge favor. By the way, you can evolve your own life even if others choose not to evolve theirs.

Good things happen when you are working to heal something. Putting positive intention toward a specific issue changes it. Stay excited and committed about what you are here to face, resolve, create and be. What are you committed to healing? Put a goal on the page and see where it takes you.

*Healing (Definition) – an issue improves, resolves, changes, shifts, and/or evolves.

Julie Matheson is a holistic mental health counselor and author. Her new book is 
on Amazon in paperback, Kindle, Audible and in bookstores near you –
Lotus Flower Living: A Journaling Practice for Deep Discovery and
Lasting Peace: Untangle Your Mind and Heart Once and For All.
You may listen to the Introduction at